The Year Ahead in Headlines

  • Happy New Year! Here are some tips to help delay the eventual fucking up of your New Year’s resolution.
  • Someone in Florida did something stupid again.
  • Republican presidential candidate says something racist. While attempting to defuse the situation, he accidentally says something even more racist.
  • You’ve already broken your new year’s eve resolution? Here’s where you fucked up.
  • Angry mob of social network users threaten to jump ship after new feature is added. After spending a few minutes back in real life most decide to reconsider.
  • Olympians overjoyed that we are all at least pretending to care about their sport again.
  • Jennifer Lawrence is the cutest. Here’s what her cute ass did this week.
  • Black teens turn unsuspecting white male into meme.
  • Apple admits their last product was trash. But today they’re revealing something truly revolutionary - and it only costs $900!
  • Playing golf all year round is cool and all but this climate change stuff is actually kind of serious guys.
  • It’s Colombus Day! Time to remind you just how bullshit this holiday really is.
  • D List celebrity wears extremely offensive costume. Claims they had no idea it was offensive.
  • Nerds still seem to think this bitcoin thing is pretty important. Let’s try to find out why.
  • Remember that meme that was funny earlier this year? You can now give it to someone for Christmas!