You are cordially invited to the special place in hell. The truth is you don’t really have much of a choice but we enjoy sending out these invitations to ensure that you feel the sense of dread that comes along with RSVPing for an event that you are sure to hate attending. Special place invitations are reserved for the truly despicable which means it’s actually quite the honor to be selected to participate.
3pm: Reception and networking
4pm: Keynote speech (Donald Trump on humility)
5pm: Intermission concert (Taylor swift & Pitbull)
8pm: Lifetime achievement award presentation (Adolf Hitler)
9pm: More networking
Note: You will be seated at a table 24 with your slow walking neighbour and all of the weird people who clap at the end of movies.