Gay Choices and Fragile Masculinity

It’s crazy that some people still think that being gay is a choice. Especially because they talk about it like it’s a bad choice. I’m straight but if I could choose? I’d definitely be gay. Hands down. Being gay just looks like so much fun you know? If you ignore the centuries of religious persecution – just put that to the side for now – and were just starting fresh from today, I think any sane person would choose gay. What you would do if I gave you a choice between the two following hypothetical people?

PERSON A:

  • someone who has a similar body type to you
  • someone you can share clothes and workout with
  • someone who really understood your body and how to pleasure it

Or PERSON B:

  • someone with a body that makes no sense anatomically
  • someone who doesn’t understand your body at all
  • someone where you spend most of your time trying to prevent your body parts from accidentally creating life

You would choose person A every time. Plus as a gay guy I could drink appletinis and if anyone every tried to make fun of me with the typical “What are you gay?” I’d simply reply with “Yes, I decided last week.”

It’s weird that we still associate certain things with genders. Did you know that the reason Coke made Coke Zero was because research showed that men thought that Diet Coke was too feminine? Yeah, apparently diabetes is really manly.

Sometimes companies will try to make you associate gender with products. Like how they just came out with vaseline for men which is ridiculous because there’s no reason guys can’t use regular vaseline. It’s an obvious cash grab. Unless “for men” secretly means that it’s better for masturbating in which case it’s genius. Do you know how many guys need lube that doesn’t explicitly say lube? That’s every teenager and husband. That’s a giant market. Maybe you have to read between the lines. Maybe it’s not actually vaseline for men. Maybe its “Vaseline” for men.. 😉😉

Speaking of which, I actually have a brilliant idea for lube. I’m going to create my own lube that looks like peanut butter. Hell, it could even taste like peanut butter if your nasty like that…and here’s the brilliant part I’m going to call it Peanut Butter’s Penis Butter.