Inappropriate Jokes Anonymous

I’m at this weird stage where I’m mature enough to know that I’m not supposed to be this immature. Like I’m at the age at which my mom already had me, a human she was responsible for at all times and I at this very same age, still pretend automatic doors are magic. 1

I joke when I’m nervous and a lot of the time it gets me in trouble. Like one time I was answering questions in a job interview, when the interviewer mentioned that I’d gotten through all the hard ones at which point I said “That’s what she said,” and she said “Get out.” 

I didn’t get that job.

Another time I was at a funeral and the widow mentioned her husband died two days before his 70th birthday and I said “69? Nice!”

The worst instance of this was one time when my dad and I were having a really serious conversation where he told me his deepest, darkest secret, which was that he felt a little guilty for leaving his family to immigrate to Canada. Then he asked me what my deepest, darkest secret was. And in hindsight I do not have one of those. But I felt like I needed to say something so I said “Dad I never told you this before but I used to pronounce the word meme, mehmay” 2

I’m thinking about starting a support group called inappropriate jokes anonymous. We could even partner with alcoholics anonymous. They’d share their heartbreaking struggles with addiction and we would try not to crack jokes or laugh.

  1. Maybe not in a group setting but if no one is watching, you better believe I’m using the force to open those automatic doors.
  2. In my defence it’s pronounced Pepe the frog not Peep the frog, which seems inconsistent.