Dick pics get an unfairly bad rap. People always say it’s the thought that counts and if you think about it a dick pic is actually one of the more rock solid ways to prove to a woman that you’re thinking of them. 1 Women often wonder what guys are thinking when they send dick pics and the answer is pretty obviously that they’re not. An erection is literally just blood rushing from your decision making head to your other head. Every dick pic ever is just the inevitable result of poor blood flow. That’s why I never ever judge when I come across those news stories of guys getting their dicks stuck in all kinds of crazy stuff. Deep down I know that if I was just maybe 15% lonelier, I could easily end up in a similar situation.
I think there’s two real reasons that women hate dick pics. The first is that they get them from strangers online which is just rude. I get annoyed when I get junk mail from BestBuy about sales that they’re having so I can only imagine what it’s like to open a message and instead of 30% off a giant plasma, it’s a giant veiny penis with plasma coming out of it. 2 I think the other reason women hate dick pics is because it takes no effort. You literally just whip it out (your phone I mean), scroll to the sepia filter, pull down your pants and take a picture.
But there is one way to make a dick pic romantic. Are you ready for it?
You send it via snail mail.
Because if you open up your mailbox and there’s a printout of a dick in it sure you’re first thought might be “Ew, whose dick is this?” But you’re second thought would definitely be “someone put a lot of thought into this“. They had to go get the photos developed knowing that the guy across the counter would see their dick, then go to your house to figure out the address, then go to the post office to buy stamps and then finally mail the thing. That’s a lot of effort just to show you their dick. There’s no way you don’t find that at least a little bit romantic.
- You ever google something just to make sure your not the first person with that particular dumb thought? ↩
- Or maybe it’s small non veiny penis I’m not one to judge. ↩