Too Much Porn

You know you watch a lot of porn when:

  • Your phone begins to autocorrect the word and to anal
  • You sometimes forget that lotion has other uses. Uses that aren’t excessively moisturizing your penis 1
  • You not only have a favourite pornstar but also a favourite director
  • You’re not mad that your food is delivered late because you think the pizza guy is probably just having sex somewhere
  • Your internet history says the last time you logged on was 2004 because you keep forgetting to use incognito mode
  • You watch all the prequels to MILF Hunter 3 just to make sure you didn’t miss any references.
  • It really bothers you that  the first image you see after your done watching porn is your phone wallpaper which is a picture of you and your great-grandma. 2

You know you watch too much porn when:

  • You actually make an account to save your favourite clips. What kind of sick, twisted, disgusting, depraved animal does that? If you are not satisfied enough with the never ending buffet of porn options that is the Internet and one particular clip is so important to you that you need to save it for later fap sessions then you probably need to reevaluate your life.
  1. Your first reaction upon seeing lotion on your friends kitchen counter really shouldn’t be “damn this guys a freak”
  2. It’s fine, she’s already dead so it’s not so bad. It could be worse, a lot of people have their kid as their wallpaper…