White Tyrone

So I met a white the white Tyrone. 1 His name was Tyrone Murphy and he looked like the complete opposite of what you would imagine a Tyrone would look like..because let’s face it when you hear the name Tyrone you picture a young black guy and this guy was old and white and wrinkly as hell. This guy looked didn’t look like a Tyrone. This guy looked like the guy that calls black guys Tyrone when he doesn’t know their name.

EXT. STREET – DAY

An OLD WHITE COUPLE watches as a MIDDLE AGED BLACK GUY’s wallet falls out of his pocket without him noticing.

OLD WHITE GUY

Hey sir, you dropped your wallet. Hey! Hey! Hey Tyrone!

THE OLD WHITE GUY gives up and opens the wallet. His WIFE watches over his shoulder.

OLD WHITE GUY

Well my god! His name’s Malcolm!

OLD WHITE LADY

Malcolm Gladwell is black?

 

Anyway, I sit down to talk to the guy and he informs me that the name Tyrone is actually of Irish origin. Bet you didn’t know that! At some point it started gaining popularity amongst African-Americans and in the great tradition of white flight, Irish people were like “You know what? You can have Tyrone. We’re white now. We’re just going to start naming our kids basic, regular white names.” 2

  1. I’m pretty sure he’s the only one.
  2. Like maybe Jaxon with an X or Skylerr with two Rs f it’s a girl.